I may not be the typical popular guy u prefer to choose as a "friend" next door, and I'm not trying to be him . I may not be the talented musician, artist or whatsoever, but I won't ever want to be him. , Im weiee and no one else can be the person that I am! No one can imitate me nevertheless will i imitate other ppl
Peterasked his work buddy, Chan, one morning, “Man, why you always so damn happy when you come to work every day?”
Chan replied, “That’s because I make loveto my wife every morning before work.”
Amazed, Peter asked him how he gets his wife to make love to him every morning.
“That’s easy,” Chan said. “I just tell her this little poem that I made up. She loves it!.
It goes like this: “Brunette , Brunette, eyes so preety. I love waking up and making love to you!”
Peter said, “Man, you asians are so damn sentimental.” But he decided it wouldn’t hurt to give it a try. So he spent the rest of the day thinking of a poem for his wife. The next day Peter showed up to work just beat to hell, bruised eyes, broken nose, fat lip, the works!!
Chan asked, “Man, what happened to you?!”
Peter said, “I don’t know, man. I went home and tried your advice. I just told her a poem.”
“Well, what poem did you tell her?”
Peter said: “Nappy head, nappy head, eyes like a frog. If I could roll your fat ass over, I’d hump you like a dog!”
True Story
These are actual answers on a McDonald’s application submitted by a 17 year old kid someplace in Florida i got it from the net . They actually hired him too.
I think this kid’s gonna go far…
NAME: Greg Bulmash.
SEX: Not yet. Still waiting for the right person.
DESIRED POSITION: Company’s President or Vice President. But seriously, whatever’s available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn’t be applying here in the first place or 69 style
DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz style severance package. If that’s not possible, make an offer and we can haggle.
EDUCATION: Yes.
LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle management hostility.
SALARY: Less than I’m worth.
MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it notes.
REASON FOR LEAVING: It sucked.
HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK: Any.
PREFERRED HOURS: 1:30-3:30 p.m., Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday.
DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?: Yes, but they’re better suited to a more intimate environment.
MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?: If I had one, would I be here?
DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM LIFTING UP TO 50 LBS?: Of what?
DO YOU HAVE A CAR?: I think the more appropriate question here would be “Do you have a car that runs?”
HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION?: I may already be a winner of the Publishers Clearing house Sweepstakes.
DO YOU SMOKE?: On the job no, on my breaks yes.
WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?: Living in the Bahamas with a fabulously wealthy dumb sexy blonde super model who thinks I’m the greatest thing since sliced bread. Actually, I’d like to be doing that now.
DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE?: Yes. Absolutely.
